I've Always Had a Hard Time With This

Do you have a hard time choosing you?

There's that whole take care of #1 thing, but I'm not sure I was ever #1. Or #2. Hell, there were probably years I didn't crack the top ten. 😂

And I don't say that because I was surrounded by terrible people who demanded everything from me. Quite the opposite. I love my people. I wanted to put them first. I wanted to be the good mom, good wife, good daughter, good friend, good employee, good everything.

Somewhere along the way, though, I got really good at making myself the easiest person to disappoint. Me.

If someone needed my time, I could move my thing. If money was tight, I could wait. If saying yes to myself meant saying no to somebody else, well...that made the decision pretty easy. I'd go without. I'd wait. I'd do it later.

And I could always come up with a perfectly reasonable explanation for why.

The problem is, later has a sneaky way of becoming your life. 🫤

There wasn't some big movie moment for me. I didn't throw down a laundry basket, book a one-way ticket to Italy and announce that MOM IS FINALLY LIVING. 😂 It happened slowly.

I started saying no to things I really didn't want to do. I stopped automatically assuming someone else's want outranked mine. I let myself spend money on things that mattered to me without first preparing a legal defense for the expenditure.

I didn't cast my family and friends aside or stop showing up for the people I love. I just finally put my own name on the list.

And you know what? Everybody survived. All that changed was I put in extra time to work on ME and my wants, dreams and aspirations. 

I wonder how many women reading this know exactly what I mean. You have something you want. Maybe you've wanted it for a really long time, but:

The kids need something.

Work is crazy.

There's something else the money could go toward.

The timing isn't great.

Maybe after the holidays.

Maybe next year.

And here's the kicker: those aren't bullshit excuses. They're real. There really are bills and responsibilities and people you love who need you.

But your life is real life too.

Just in my little corner of the internet, I hear from women who tell me they've wanted to become travel advisors for years. Years.

They've researched it. They know they'd be good at it. They imagine having something of their own, earning money, having more flexibility and building a business around something they genuinely enjoy.

They want it. And then comes the but. I understand every single one of those buts.

Regardless of what your want is (a Disney travel career, Law School, a sewing room, whatever!!), I don't want you to look up five years from now and realize you're still waiting for the magical moment when everybody else's needs have been met and there's finally enough time, money and space in the schedule left over for you.

Because that day doesn't come. There's always going to be something.

I'm not telling you to quit your job tomorrow, drain the savings account, ignore your family and GO CHASE YOUR DREAMS, GIRL! 🎉

Please don't. 😂 I'm saying something much smaller:

Maybe you wanting something is allowed to count.

Maybe spending some money on your own future isn't frivolous.

Maybe saying no to something you don't want creates room to say yes to something you do.

And maybe everybody else doesn't have to be completely taken care of before you're allowed to take care of yourself.

If becoming a travel advisor is your thing, I can help you with that. I think that is already clear. But whatever your thing is, please stop assuming it belongs at the bottom of the list just because it's yours.

I'm not going to tell you to make yourself #1. I'm still not particularly good at that. 😂

But you get to be on the list. 💛